If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
