I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Randomize
