I just cut my nipple shaving
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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