Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
