just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
