i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
