You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
