if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
