Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
