i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
