It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
