dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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