is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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