help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
