he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
