that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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