I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
