i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He better not be in your backpack
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
