I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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