i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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