Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
My day in three words: secret purse cake
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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