So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
