Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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