Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
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He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
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Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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