yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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