"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
