I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize