He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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