But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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