I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
