i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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