she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
