it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
