I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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