why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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