You're completely useless in the revolution.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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