Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You ruined the universe
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
