That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
