i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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