Betty ford says i'm here all night
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize