Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
