my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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