Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
