BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
