When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize
