So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
