U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
