stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
