And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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