she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
