so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
she peed on how many people?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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