Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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