i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Can you bring me the toilet please
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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