Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
