I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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