I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
