Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
