Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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