how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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