I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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