If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
