Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize