I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
