he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
