youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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