I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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